NO SCHPUNK ALRIGHT

by Mr Alex March 13, 2009 08:28

yeah so the big news for this friday is that there is NO SCHPUNK tonight, so don't go there, cos you'll just be sitting outside and wondering what the hell is going on, then you'll probably go down the lion and put some emo crap on the jukebox and really feck me off so just don't do it, instead sit inside and watch Comic Relief and help all those poor kids in Africa who are making millions as pirates taking over oil tankers and the like.

Feed the world!!!

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Clubbing

WHO Watches the WATCHMEN

by Mr Alex March 11, 2009 18:36

Yeah its time for Brotherton to review the WATCHMEN, very flashy looking film based on a 1980s comic series. I've just read the comics and to be honest i weren't that impressed by the story line really its all a bit BOLLOCKS but hey thats just me, lets see what B-TON makes of it all..

 

Watchmen

 

Its the comic book adaptation that fans have waited 20 years for since its inception, and now that its finally here; as an ardent fan of the comic I can only say; this film is just fantastic!

While not the complete masterpeice as you might have hoped, as far as the recent adaptations have passed (From Hell, V For Vendetta and LXG) Watchmen is by far the most faithful translation of Alan Moore's works and is the one that fans across the globe will be frothing at the mouths once they sit down at their local multiplex.
Set in an alternate 1985, Nixon is still President after 20 years, the Cold War is reaching cataclysmic levels, and the streets of New York was once flooded by costumed vigilantes. One of which is murdered in the film's opening scene. What follows is an incredibly dense story surrounding a group of retired crimefighters reluctantly teaming up to uncover a wider conspiracy that threatens not only their lives but also the future of the world they live in. And these aren't the typical flawed superheroes that carry baggage, these people are genuinely messed up.

Adapting Watchmen has not been an easy task. Since its announcement back in 1988 when Fox purchased the rights, Watchmen has gone through such directors like Terry Gilliam, Daron Aronofsky and Paul Greengrass before landing onto Zack Snyder. The biggest problem facing of course was its overwhelmingly complex plot that involved profound themes of existentialism, political philosophy and sociological insights into violence and vigilantism. That being said, its a miracle that its been turned into a $120m Hollywood blockbuster stretching over 160 minutes, let alone being made at all.

But the real reason why Watchmen is considered such a seminal classic in the comic-book medium; its a deconstruction of the superhero genre. Each of the characters representing the common archetype of past superheroes, stripped apart and shown under a new light. For example: The Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson) is a retired Batman-like figure, disillusioned from his hero days and battling with sexual impotency. There's Dr. Manhattan, (Billy Crudup) a genuine superbeing with omnipotent powers who is so transcendent, that in body and mind, he exists out of time and matter with humanity and can no longer truly coincide with them. And then there's Rorschach, a violent, unhinged headcase who refuses to retire his crimefighting days and looks upon society with distain, happliy killing any criminal remotely walking in his path, and he is the narrative drive of the film.

Zack Snyder has done an incredibly impressive job replicating almost shot-for-shot from the pages of the novel, its cinemagraphically gorgeous. Of course, Snyder doesn't try to pretend to place this film in the real world like The Dark Knight, by creating a parallel between the dark look of the city's seedy underbelly and the glistening colourations of the costumed characters on screen, this world presented is a highly stylized and superficial world which is in many ways a grim satire of every comic book universe created.

Naturally its not without its flaws, however minor they may be. With a plot waist-deep in its themes, there is a great lack of emotional investment in the characters. Not that was a major problem to begin with, as each of the characters are representations of the story's antithesis to typical comic book personas. And there's also the violence. Watchmen has garnered a high amount of critisizm of late with the high amount of very graphic, gory bloodshed. As previously seen in both 300 and Dawn Of The Dead, Snyder clearly loves his violence, and doesn't hesitate in gloriously flooding the screen with viscera in slow-mo when he gets the chance, some of which might even repel viewers who were expecting another PG-13/12A rated comic book flick. This film is rated 18 for a good reason.

While Snyder's over-use of slow-motion becomes at times unnessecary and could have been handled with a little more restraint, these minor gripes does in no way affect the overall quality of the film. This is the film fans have been eagerly awaiting. And with a proposed director's cut running at a supposed 190 minutes for its DVD release, there will be plenty more on offer for fans to come.

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Reviews

Monday late post

by Mr Alex March 02, 2009 16:43

Its a bit of a late one this week, not that you missed much, the Waffleon Football Team lost 4-3 to the top of the league side, Spurs lost in the carling cup final, England lost in the Rugby and i'm sure a few other people lost out too this weekend. But for every loser there is a winner and today its you guys with a BROTHERTON review of Friday the 13th. There's one coming up in March too so ya know, its all relative and stuff.

Friday the 13th



Good news for horror fans; The new Friday the 13th remake is the best looking, well produced Friday the 13th flick made yet. Bad news is; its still just another cruddy Friday the 13th flick.

After having Jason Vorhees drowned, chopped up, struck by lightning, battle psychics, sent to Hell, shot into space and duked out with Freddy Krueger, Michael Bay and his production company Platinum Dunes has decided to start from scratch in this 're-imagining' of the first three films combined. Problem is, this is a franchise that has pretty much devoid of any actual imagination to begin with.
Friday the 13th was just one of several generic slasher flicks that came out in the late 70's and early 80's that tried to cash in on the success of Halloween by following the repetitive formula of gratuitously slaughtered teens, a masked killer and a title based after a specific date - See My Bloody Valentine, Silent Night Deadly Night, Prom Night etc. In fact, its really mainly down to the box office success of the original 1980 film which as to date, managed to create an ongoing franchise that had spawned nine dismal sequels and the crossover cheesefest that was Freddy vs Jason.

Not that this will deter any fans of the franchise itself. Like the current Saw franchise, it has built up a loyal fanbase since its inception who's primary kick was the inventive ways Jason would snuff out his victims each time, and this new film follows no exception.
While director Marcus Nispel achieves the same gritty, morbid look he pulled off previously in the decent but needless Texas Chainsaw remake, there is nothing new achieved here at all. Every camper present on the screen spend their whole screen time smoking weed, having sex and talking garbage when they're not being hacked up by Jason, which is at times both gruesome and unintentionally funny.
So when you're finished cheering Jason on killing these cretinous youths, you'll most likely be regularly checking your watch hoping Jason will finish up quickly so you can leave sooner.

Then again, the film's sheer mediocrity won't affect the reputation of the franchise, the original is far from being a classic despite what some horror fans might argue, and Friday fans here will get their money's worth; you want Jason slaughtering campers again, you've got it. But for everyone else. You'll wish the film ended when the title first appeared.
And seeing as Platinum Dunes has picked up the rights to remake both Nightmare on Elm Street and The Birds: by paying to see this film, you're funding Michael Bay to go ahead to butcher genuine classics. Keep that in mind.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5

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