NOOO its not a new club night, but it was an odd night!! Its story time...

So there i was having had a rather nice meal with associates Andyboy and Le BigMuff i stroled to the bus stop just down the road, heading back to Romford, now this may have seemed a normal thing but for the following:

First, two social networking comminity help relief copper boys said "hi" to me as i walked passed them in a very ye olde cop style way "cold tonight" they followed up with as i said some generic "yeah mate" comment back to them, also noting that they must of been about 12 which is the standard remark about coppers for anyone over the age of 30, anyhow. So there i go walking to the bus stop and i see a 365 sitting in the bus stop indicators flashing... hmm i think whats all this then, ( i didn't actually think that, i think i was thinking about tits or something - but i digress) then a hoodie "chap" jumps off and whistles to the community coppers behind me and actions to them to come over.

Ooooh the excitement, so we get to the bus and we find that there is some chinese bird about 45 odd i reckon IC1 female and all that, innit, passed out in the seat, the bus driver (nigerian, 50 odd) had sealed himself off in his booth so the rest of us (me, 2 community spazzers, 2 hoddies (who quite happily talked about the fact they were off to score some "bud" and found the whole thing really funny, ALSO said that they shouted in her ear quite a bit too before everyone else got here!! haha kids... ) and some bint watch as the coppers tried to shout at this bird, checked her pulse and all that kind of stuff

 The upshot was she was alive - then the paramedic turned up, and we got off the bus. This guy was what i'd call a FAT Alan Carr look alike, anyway, he got on the bus like a really pissed off bouncer and took one look at her, shook her a bit, then picked her up and WHAT DO YOU KNOW she suddenly wakes up!!

At this point another ambulance turns up with 2 paramedics - one bint and one super MILF (seriously she was fit for an older girl, god praise everyone that you get that ambulance when you dial 999 next!!). So they all get involved, then a police van turns up!! and we're all there with this slightly mental chinese bird wandering around like a.. well mental bird.

So anyway, she ends up getting in the ambulance, and the paramedic alan carr goes home slagging her off "fucking timewaster!" (fair comment i say). The two hoodies who i've been joking "wif" are ready to go home so we go to get on the bus and....... OH MY GOSHING FOCK its out of service..................

like seriously what a turd..

I really had a sense of britishness with all these, the hoodies, the community spazzers, the alan carrs, the milfs, we all came together, had a laugh and tried to help the woman, we took it all in our stride - helped each other and did what we could, but the NIGERIA COCK HEAD DRIVER just didn't get it and we had to wait in the fricking cold while the woman got a ride in the ambulance, the community help got a ride in the police van and we all stood there looking at the twat riding the 365 thinking "DICK-HEAD".

Then a 248 turned up and i went home.

Anyway to summarise this long post, there is still some britishness left in this country and lets not forget there, we had some good banter and we helped people and thats what we're all about - sometimes we lose sight of that like an episode of South Park but it comes back in the end.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!! and all that etc..

So that was Winter then, first proper winter for 18 years and some decent snow!! i hope everyone went out and made snowmen, this only happens every 18 years FFS!!! So what now, back to standard rain and wetness and general gloom for the rest of the winter before, but hey at least we don't have tornados or rabies or poisinous spiers - so lets be thankful for good old blighty!

Dont forget tonight is SCHPUNK night and this week I believe its on at OPIUM LOUNGE AGAIN!!! I hear it was quite a night last week so dont miss out!

And as a treat for friday we've got another Brotherton review - this time he checks out UnderWorld THE PREQUEL WITH THE SAME ACTORS EVEN THOUGH THAT DOESNT QUITE FIT IN WITH THE FIRST TWO FILMS. Enjoy!!

Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans

Prior to sitting down in the cinema to see this 3rd installment of the much derided franchise, I had seen no trailers, no TV or radio spots, only posters next to bus stops. And the cinema I went to was nearly packed out, and the queues for the evening showings were even longer after I left. That shows just how much appeal the Underworld series still has, regardless of the mass critic-bashing.

Put simply, you're either a fan or you're not, and critical consensus won't deter you either way from seeing this.

Since the first Underworld flick came out in 2003, it has won over a pretty large fan-base, mainly all thanks to screenwriter Danny McBride's inscrutably layered history of his vampire/lycan war. But as much thought is given into each of the characters involvement throughout this fantasy yarn, the end result is that each actor is given a role that's required to do sod all apart from snarl and growl - especially if they're a werewolf.

For this prequel, the entire plot ark revolves around a flashback sequence from the first film where lycan maestro Lucian (Michael Sheen - why DID he return for this?) revealed his motive for the war; a Romeo & Juliet style love story between a werewolf and vampire where the latter was executed which thus started the war. So all the cheap Crow/Blade/Matrix guns 'n' leather knock-offs are now replaced with sword fights, castles and other derivative periodic elements.

It may sound like I've just given the whole plot away, but anyone who's still bothered about the Underworld series knows about which of these characters are gonna live or die to appear in the present films, and how, too. It may be an improvement by having a less convoluted plot this time round, but the usual over-acting, dull action sequences and incredibly uninspired storytelling will appeal to few unless you're a fan.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Its the big night at 1-3-1 tonight with the return of HOTEL FUZZ. So make sure you pop down there and enjoy the 90p DRINKS (unfrickingbelieveable!!!!).

Also a quick update on the SCHPUNK situation, due to organisation changes it MAY or MAYNOT be at Pacific Edge this week and could be at OPIUM LOUNGE for a one off special. Check the forums for the latest update!!

Not much else to report today, we have another BROTHERTON review tomorrow, and also we'll be putting up something on the "not to be forgotten" WaffleON Netball Team - who state that

"did you know we have technically not lost a game since october!"

Not sure how you technically don't lose a game, unless it was cancelled cos there was a sale on at Dolcies or something half way through?? anyway we'll put some info up as soon as we get it

Happy wednesday!